Right after we launched Heartcockles.com my cousin called me trying to decide which heart cockle to order. She said, "I need a job, but I'll take the Health Heart Cockle because without health you have nothing." I asked her if she were ill and she responded, "No, I just want to stay healthy." We talked for a while and what I discovered applies to many of us. Her belief system dictated to her that she could only have one or the other...health, or a career worth getting up for every day. This type of thinking has to do with Paradigms; in other words...our belief systems. Our paradigms are handed down to us by our parents. But, in all fairness, we can't put all the blame on our parents because they got their paradigms from their parents, who got their paradigms from their parents, and so on, as we in turn pass our paradigms down to our children.
It's time to stop the madness! We were all born to be healthy, wealthy, and happy. We were not born to suffer, have a difficult time with life and struggle. And I'll tell you this...if you are struggling it's because you choose to! You are deserving of all life's treasures and treats. If you believe that, it will be done; if you don't, you need to examine who in your life told you that you couldn't have it all and understand that they didn't know what the hell they were talking about!
There's a great book, The Millionaire Mind, by Thomas J. Stanley. He interviewed close to 1,000 millionaires in order to find something in common among them. What he found was that they had similar paradigms. Belief systems that were positive, focused on succeeding, and had the perserverance that demanded that they not take "no" for an answer. I've always said, "No, doesn't mean you can't make your dreams come true, it just means you can't do it with the person who's telling you "no".
There are many people who were born into poverty and stay there, as well as many people born into poverty and climb out of it into very successful careers. Why the difference? The actor, writer and producer Tyler Perry, in an interview shared with the world that he was born into poverty and had a very abusive father. A father that not only beat him regularly, but day after day told him he was no good and that he would never amount to anything. And even with all that going on, deep inside himself he always believed that he was good, that he would grow up to do wonderful things, and he did. Mariah Carey, the talented singer, grew up in a low income home not having much parental support, said in an interview that no matter what challenges she faced while growing up she always felt that she had a secret...that secret being that one day she would achieve great things. And one day she did. These two individuals are just two examples of people who didn't buy into the belief system they were exposed to as children, yet there are many that do and suffer because of it.
If you buy into the paradigm that "life is hard," "It's not easy to make a dollar," Money doesn't grow on trees," "You were born into poverty and that's where you'll stay," etc., then life will be hard, you will find it very difficult to earn a living, and you will never achieve great things.
The most important conversation you will ever have is the conversation you have with yourself. I'll even take it one more step..."Your belief system is more important than your formal education!" You can graduate at the top of your class, but if you don't believe you can achieve, it will never happen!
The question to ask yourself, "Do your paradigms limit you, or do they encourage you?" If your life is working for you then your paradigms are working for you. If your life is not what you want it to be then your paradigms are working against you and you need to examine your belief system by listening to what you tell yourself every day.
Our philosophy determines our income. Millionaires have millionaire thoughts. Wealth is not brought about by skill, it's brought about by thoughts! Thoughts become things. Worrying attracts things into our lives that we don't want. Negative thoughts attract negative events. Worry is drama and is brought about by a negative story that we keep telling ourselves, and others, over and over again.
Get out of the drama and create a new story of success. Think about the success you desire, talk about it and live in the "now" while focusing on what you want in your life; and every day do just one thing that will move you closer to your dreams. If you do that starting today, you will see immediate results. Your experiences will begin to challenge those damaging old paradigms and your belief system will change, and in turn so will your life. That's what millionaires do. Don't you want to be a millionaire?! Then believe you are deserving, change your current disappointing story to the one you were born to be living, and thrive.
You were born to succeed and be happy. It all begins with your thoughts!
Check back next month when Dr. Donna's blog will examine the "Five Steps to Success."
Donna Dannenfelser, Ed.D
Showing posts with label Heart Cockles. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Heart Cockles. Show all posts
Thursday, August 5, 2010
Sunday, July 4, 2010
"Dr. Donna's Heart Cockles Conquer FEAR"
"Fear" is another word for "don't," and the word "don't" stops most of us in our tracks. It causes us to doubt, have negative thoughts and more tragically, not trust our inner voice which ultimately paralyzes our forward movement in life.
Fear originates in childhood when our parents felt it their duty to pass on their fears as they worked diligently until they made us fear the things they feared. Although well-meaning, they handed down their irrational fears --False Evidence Appearing Real. The thought behind instilling fear was to keep us safe. That in and of itself is irrational. So rather than teaching fear we need to educate the next generation, not about what "could" happen, i.e. "if you don't look both ways when crossing the street you will get hit by a car," but rather, "people drive cars on the street so remember to look both ways before crossing it." One parent frightens the child, the other empowers the child. Ultimately, we develop tapes in our minds that dictate behavior and that behavior translates into "playing it safe," "not stepping out of the box," and "being afraid of failure." Rather than "no pain, no gain," "take the road less traveled," "the bigger the risk, the better the payoff."
Many people are not doing what they want to do in life because they are afraid of failure. It is a well known fact that the person who believes they can succeed and the person who believes they can't are both right. The person who believes they "can't" is powered by fear and it gets in the way of everything! "I shouldn't open my dream business because I may fail; I shouldn't get married because it may fail; I shouldn't write a book because it may not sell; I shouldn't buy that house because I may not be able to pay the mortgage," and the shouldn'ts go on and on.
The question to ask yourself when fear consumes your thoughts is, "What would I do if I weren't afraid?" Then hold on to the answer, visualize what you would do, how it will feel, and believe you have the ability, the universal support, and the innate wisdom as a creator to achieve your goals. All people who are successful in life take gambles, they never doubt, they never quit, they never let anyone get in their way and they ultimately never lose. My entire life has been one gamble after another. I never let anyone tell me I couldn't do something. And if a person said no to me it didn't mean that I couldn't do it, it just meant I couldn't do it with them. Oh well...their loss.
Don't ever let anyone define you, or dictate whether you will be successful at something or not. They have no idea what you're capable of and most often they're jealous of your vision. Be your own person and define your future with the knowledge that your God-given free will dictates that you can do anything you set your mind to!
Dr. Donna's Heart Cockles were designed to keep you focused on your goals. Visualizing and focusing is the secret to success.
You were born to succeed and be happy. Now get out there and ask yourself, "What would I do if I weren't afraid?! And then...DO IT!
Check back next month when Dr. Donna's bog will explore why some people think they can have it all...and do!
Donna Dannenfelser, Ed.D
Fear originates in childhood when our parents felt it their duty to pass on their fears as they worked diligently until they made us fear the things they feared. Although well-meaning, they handed down their irrational fears --False Evidence Appearing Real. The thought behind instilling fear was to keep us safe. That in and of itself is irrational. So rather than teaching fear we need to educate the next generation, not about what "could" happen, i.e. "if you don't look both ways when crossing the street you will get hit by a car," but rather, "people drive cars on the street so remember to look both ways before crossing it." One parent frightens the child, the other empowers the child. Ultimately, we develop tapes in our minds that dictate behavior and that behavior translates into "playing it safe," "not stepping out of the box," and "being afraid of failure." Rather than "no pain, no gain," "take the road less traveled," "the bigger the risk, the better the payoff."
Many people are not doing what they want to do in life because they are afraid of failure. It is a well known fact that the person who believes they can succeed and the person who believes they can't are both right. The person who believes they "can't" is powered by fear and it gets in the way of everything! "I shouldn't open my dream business because I may fail; I shouldn't get married because it may fail; I shouldn't write a book because it may not sell; I shouldn't buy that house because I may not be able to pay the mortgage," and the shouldn'ts go on and on.
The question to ask yourself when fear consumes your thoughts is, "What would I do if I weren't afraid?" Then hold on to the answer, visualize what you would do, how it will feel, and believe you have the ability, the universal support, and the innate wisdom as a creator to achieve your goals. All people who are successful in life take gambles, they never doubt, they never quit, they never let anyone get in their way and they ultimately never lose. My entire life has been one gamble after another. I never let anyone tell me I couldn't do something. And if a person said no to me it didn't mean that I couldn't do it, it just meant I couldn't do it with them. Oh well...their loss.
Don't ever let anyone define you, or dictate whether you will be successful at something or not. They have no idea what you're capable of and most often they're jealous of your vision. Be your own person and define your future with the knowledge that your God-given free will dictates that you can do anything you set your mind to!
Dr. Donna's Heart Cockles were designed to keep you focused on your goals. Visualizing and focusing is the secret to success.
You were born to succeed and be happy. Now get out there and ask yourself, "What would I do if I weren't afraid?! And then...DO IT!
Check back next month when Dr. Donna's bog will explore why some people think they can have it all...and do!
Donna Dannenfelser, Ed.D
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