Tuesday, October 5, 2010
An example of this can be seen with Evelyn who was looking for that perfect partner. Evelyn's love life had always been less than perfect. She had gotten to the point where she was convinced that she would spend the rest of her days alone. She became very depressed. I convinced her that before she gave up hope she might want to try one more thing...the Law of Attraction. She agreed with its concept, read all my blogs and decided she had nothing to lose. She began by visualizing a tall, dark, and handsome guy. Low and behold, she met and started dating the exact man she had in mind: a tall, dark, and handsome man. The only problem was that he wound up spending more time in the mirror than she did, so she changed her visual to a nice guy with a great personality. She got the nice guy with the great personality, but he hadn't had a job in two years and Evelyn wound up paying for all their dates. Then she visualized the guy that could support himself as well as pay for at least half the dates. She met him as well, but found him boring. Then she decided to make a list of all the qualities she wanted in a mate, but that wound up being pages long as she stressed about leaving out important personality characteristics. That was two and a half years ago and today Evelyn is still looking for that special man. Evelyn was missing one important aspect of the Law of Attraction...she forgot to work on herself first. She needed to possess all the qualities she wanted to find in her partner...like attracts like.
If it's a life partner you're looking for most of us would agree we need to focus on a mate that completes us...the person that makes us smile, understands our moods, and empowers us to be the best we can be. We will find that person when we can say that we are ready to be that person ourselves. In other words, we find love when we are ready to give love.
We find that perfect job when we are ready to perform in that perfect job. We find that perfect friend when we are ready to be that perfect friend for someone else. When we become what we are looking for we will attract that which we desire. Like attracts like!
It is important to remember that we need to focus on one thing at a time. That's why it's so important to define what we want in as much detail as possible. Next, we need to feel what it would be like receiving our hearts' desires and allow the universe time to work its magic. The universe needs time to work our physical environment in such a way that our thoughts will manifest into our physical experience. People need to be put into place and chance happenings need to have time to occur. Most importantly, we cannot let doubt or fear enter out thoughts. Many of us aren't patient enough and begin to doubt the power of the universe in making things happen. The universe doesn't judge our thoughts it only replicates them. So if you say, "It's taking too long, it will never happen." The universe says, "Oh, cancel that plan, the thought is that it will never happen so we can't make it happen." Then you get some hope and you think,"I need to think positive, it will happen." The universe says, "Oh, let's get back on track." Then someone tells you your vision is nonsense and you agree, the universe reverses itself again, and so on and so forth, without any forward movement. Your vacillating thoughts are what slows down the whole process.
Simply put, the reason there are things you want that have not yet appeared in your life, is because you're just not used to thinking of yourself with them. You must visualize yourself being worthy of receiving them and how exciting it will be when you do receive them. It's about feeling "passion" for the life you want to live. Being passionate about something is loving the thought of it, imagining it in its full existence, daydreaming about it, smiling at the thought of one day living it and believing that it's just around the corner, and in doing so getting ready to experience it. I used to often say to my students at the University, "Dress for the job you want, not the job you have." I was teaching them how to intentionally program their future. Why is it that there are people who no matter what they touch they can make it turn to gold? Because by the time they actually touch it they had thought about the success of it over and over again in their minds, never doubted their success, and by the time it manifested they were already on to their next adventure.
There was a story about a man who was caught in a hurricane. The water table was rising higher and higher by the minute. A police car came by and instructed the man to get into the car as he would be brought to safety. The man refused saying that God would save him by stopping the rain. The policeman left. The man then decided to go to his rooftop and wait out the storm. Soon the streets filled with water and became rivers. A police boat came by and told the man to get into the boat. The man refused saying, "God will save me, soon he will stop the rain." The police boat left, the water continued to rise. A helicopter came by and the pilot tried to encourage the man to get into the helicopter. The man said, "God will save me, soon he will stop the rain." The helicopter left. The water rose higher and higher until it covered the house and the man drowned. When the man got to heaven he asked God, "Why didn't you save me?" God said, "I sent you a police car, a boat and a helicopter, why didn't you use them?"
Many times our desires manifest in ways we least expect, we must be open to all possibilities. The Law of Attraction works all the time, for all of us, don't miss it!
Meditation is one of the best ways to have your desires manifest quickly. Learn how to meditate the easy way by going to heartcockles.com and order a "Custom Heart Cockle," write "meditation scroll" in the "custom cockle instruction box." Experience how quickly you can change your life when you begin to change your thoughts!
Donna Dannenfelser, Ed.D
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
Success is about staying focused and believing that you were born to succeed. Your job is to visualize your perfect life, put it out into the Universe and watch how chance meetings present themselves; how circumstances seem to happen that move you closer to your goal. Synchronicity becomes a way of life and you begin to understand how timing is everything. Often, it's those disappointing events that actually are the key experiences needed to get you on the right path to achieving the life of your dreams.
A while ago I went to get my car fixed and had to wait an hour. I went to a cafe' around the corner, sat at the bar and ordered a sandwich. A young guy came in and sat next to me, he was in his mid-twenties, had a tattoo on his arm that read, "Huckleberry". He looked at me, took some heavy deep breaths, ordered his lunch, and then looked at me again. Our eyes connected for a moment and he told me he hated his job. In that moment I actually felt his soul dying. For such a young person to hate what he did every day of his life struck me so deeply. No one should have to hate what they do for a living. The problem is that they don't know how to get what they want. And that's because they haven't been taught how. You get what you want by following five simple steps:
1. Identify what you want out of life. Define it in as much detail as possible and see the
end result in your mind's eye.
2. Visualize how you will look when your dream comes true, what the end result will look
like. Most importantly, feel what it will be like when you accomplish your goal.
3. Do something every day that moves the energy toward your goal.
4. Every day keep your energy high by feeling good and you will become an attracting
magnet, attracting just the right people that will help you achieve your goal.
5. Be grateful for the things you have today and believe you are deserving of all life's riches.
We're only here for a short while and one day we will die, so the question is...what do you want to do until that day? Visualize it, believe it will happen, and it will manifest!
During the time I was pitching my TV show, I visualized signing the contract for the show every time I signed my name. I did this for two years straight. I never missed an opportunity to visualize the signing of that contract. Whether it was signing my name on a check, charge card, birthday card, whatever, whenever I signed my name, I visualized signing that contract. The day I actually signed the SONY contract was surreal because I had already done it over and over again in my mind.
Many people tell me they have trouble staying the course of their dreams. Their negative self-talk gets in the way and they begin to doubt that their dreams will ever come true. They say that negative emotions take over and they convince themselves that they will never succeed. Our emotions are not our enemy. They actually serve us well. Our emotions are our built-in navigation system. First we have thoughts and then we have feelings. Our emotions actually tell us what we're thinking and whether or not we're going in the right direction . Our negative emotions tell us we have gone off track. If I'm feeling sad, the first thing I do is monitor my thoughts. What am I telling myself? And 100% of the time I'm thinking about something that saddens me. If I'm feeling anxious, I stop and think about what I'm telling myself and for sure I'm thinking about events that might happen in my life that would cause me to have a negative experience. Mind you, those events haven't happened yet, but had I kept thinking those thoughts the negative events would eventually manifest. If you're feeling anything other than comfortable, your emotions are trying to get you to change your thoughts. You attract what you think about whether you want it or not. You need to remember that the most important conversation you will ever have is the conversation you have with yourself!
Once we get a handle on our thoughts we can change them, and once we change our thoughts we change our lives. Once we change our lives we begin to smile, and once we smile we become happy. Once we become happy we attract all that makes us happy!
So take those "Five Steps to Success" and do them every morning before you get out of bed; that will focus your day. Do those again at night, as you are going off to sleep and the repetition of your desires will take a firm hold in your subconscious. Your subconscious is responsible for 96% of your decisions made every day. If your desires are firmly embedded in your subconscious you're decisions will always move you toward your goals.
Believe you are in charge of your destiny and never take your eye off the prize. You were born to succeed!
Next month's blog: "Why does it take so long for our desires to manifest?"
Donna Dannenfelser, Ed.D
Thursday, August 5, 2010
It's time to stop the madness! We were all born to be healthy, wealthy, and happy. We were not born to suffer, have a difficult time with life and struggle. And I'll tell you this...if you are struggling it's because you choose to! You are deserving of all life's treasures and treats. If you believe that, it will be done; if you don't, you need to examine who in your life told you that you couldn't have it all and understand that they didn't know what the hell they were talking about!
There's a great book, The Millionaire Mind, by Thomas J. Stanley. He interviewed close to 1,000 millionaires in order to find something in common among them. What he found was that they had similar paradigms. Belief systems that were positive, focused on succeeding, and had the perserverance that demanded that they not take "no" for an answer. I've always said, "No, doesn't mean you can't make your dreams come true, it just means you can't do it with the person who's telling you "no".
There are many people who were born into poverty and stay there, as well as many people born into poverty and climb out of it into very successful careers. Why the difference? The actor, writer and producer Tyler Perry, in an interview shared with the world that he was born into poverty and had a very abusive father. A father that not only beat him regularly, but day after day told him he was no good and that he would never amount to anything. And even with all that going on, deep inside himself he always believed that he was good, that he would grow up to do wonderful things, and he did. Mariah Carey, the talented singer, grew up in a low income home not having much parental support, said in an interview that no matter what challenges she faced while growing up she always felt that she had a secret...that secret being that one day she would achieve great things. And one day she did. These two individuals are just two examples of people who didn't buy into the belief system they were exposed to as children, yet there are many that do and suffer because of it.
If you buy into the paradigm that "life is hard," "It's not easy to make a dollar," Money doesn't grow on trees," "You were born into poverty and that's where you'll stay," etc., then life will be hard, you will find it very difficult to earn a living, and you will never achieve great things.
The most important conversation you will ever have is the conversation you have with yourself. I'll even take it one more step..."Your belief system is more important than your formal education!" You can graduate at the top of your class, but if you don't believe you can achieve, it will never happen!
The question to ask yourself, "Do your paradigms limit you, or do they encourage you?" If your life is working for you then your paradigms are working for you. If your life is not what you want it to be then your paradigms are working against you and you need to examine your belief system by listening to what you tell yourself every day.
Our philosophy determines our income. Millionaires have millionaire thoughts. Wealth is not brought about by skill, it's brought about by thoughts! Thoughts become things. Worrying attracts things into our lives that we don't want. Negative thoughts attract negative events. Worry is drama and is brought about by a negative story that we keep telling ourselves, and others, over and over again.
Get out of the drama and create a new story of success. Think about the success you desire, talk about it and live in the "now" while focusing on what you want in your life; and every day do just one thing that will move you closer to your dreams. If you do that starting today, you will see immediate results. Your experiences will begin to challenge those damaging old paradigms and your belief system will change, and in turn so will your life. That's what millionaires do. Don't you want to be a millionaire?! Then believe you are deserving, change your current disappointing story to the one you were born to be living, and thrive.
You were born to succeed and be happy. It all begins with your thoughts!
Check back next month when Dr. Donna's blog will examine the "Five Steps to Success."
Donna Dannenfelser, Ed.D
Sunday, July 4, 2010
Fear originates in childhood when our parents felt it their duty to pass on their fears as they worked diligently until they made us fear the things they feared. Although well-meaning, they handed down their irrational fears --False Evidence Appearing Real. The thought behind instilling fear was to keep us safe. That in and of itself is irrational. So rather than teaching fear we need to educate the next generation, not about what "could" happen, i.e. "if you don't look both ways when crossing the street you will get hit by a car," but rather, "people drive cars on the street so remember to look both ways before crossing it." One parent frightens the child, the other empowers the child. Ultimately, we develop tapes in our minds that dictate behavior and that behavior translates into "playing it safe," "not stepping out of the box," and "being afraid of failure." Rather than "no pain, no gain," "take the road less traveled," "the bigger the risk, the better the payoff."
Many people are not doing what they want to do in life because they are afraid of failure. It is a well known fact that the person who believes they can succeed and the person who believes they can't are both right. The person who believes they "can't" is powered by fear and it gets in the way of everything! "I shouldn't open my dream business because I may fail; I shouldn't get married because it may fail; I shouldn't write a book because it may not sell; I shouldn't buy that house because I may not be able to pay the mortgage," and the shouldn'ts go on and on.
The question to ask yourself when fear consumes your thoughts is, "What would I do if I weren't afraid?" Then hold on to the answer, visualize what you would do, how it will feel, and believe you have the ability, the universal support, and the innate wisdom as a creator to achieve your goals. All people who are successful in life take gambles, they never doubt, they never quit, they never let anyone get in their way and they ultimately never lose. My entire life has been one gamble after another. I never let anyone tell me I couldn't do something. And if a person said no to me it didn't mean that I couldn't do it, it just meant I couldn't do it with them. Oh well...their loss.
Don't ever let anyone define you, or dictate whether you will be successful at something or not. They have no idea what you're capable of and most often they're jealous of your vision. Be your own person and define your future with the knowledge that your God-given free will dictates that you can do anything you set your mind to!
Dr. Donna's Heart Cockles were designed to keep you focused on your goals. Visualizing and focusing is the secret to success.
You were born to succeed and be happy. Now get out there and ask yourself, "What would I do if I weren't afraid?! And then...DO IT!
Check back next month when Dr. Donna's bog will explore why some people think they can have it all...and do!
Donna Dannenfelser, Ed.D
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
With that being said, I tackle one of the oldest questions known to man, "Why are we here?" I believed as a young adult that we were here on Earth to Learn, Grow, and Return to the Source. But what does that really mean? Learn what? Grow how? What is the Source?
In order to figure out why we are here I needed to figure out what it is that we actually are capable of doing? Well, you don't have to go further than the nightly news to discover that we're capable of some really nasty stuff. But it can't be all that bad, what about the good stuff? What about our inventions, our medical discoveries, our communication systems, our compassion? We sure have come a long way since the caveman days. How did that all happen? What separates us from the other species on Earth?
Then it occurred to me...we VISUALIZE! We are creative beings whose creations begin with a thought, an idea. We think about it, we talk about it, we wonder about it and then we look around our environment for things we can use to create it. It is at that point that another element comes into play. When we visualize, something happens that brings to us the people who can help us create our vision. These people pop in and out of our lives at just the right moment with just the right resources we need at the time, or they wind up pushing us in the direction we need to go in order to find what we need to manifest our vision. That my friend is what we call the "Law of Attraction," you attract that which you focus on.
I'm sure you would agree that there are people that look like they have everything they want in life and put very little effort into getting it. This may be a consequence of the fact that they were born with the knowledge of manifesting at the core of their existence. People who are so efficient in attracting the positive have trained their minds to completely focus on their desires. Some people attract without even realizing what they are doing because they have already discovered the power of their own thoughts. They focus on what they want, believe they can achieve their goals and don't allow anyone to deter them from succeeding. Completely eliminating negative thinking and removing barriers from your thoughts will allow for an incredible feeling of liberation and empowerment. Whatever we want in life we can obtain with the proper mentality and approach, hence the creation of Heart Cockles Inc.
Heart Cockles are used as visualization tools in manifesting your dreams by keeping you focused on positive thoughts and reminding you to move positive energy every day toward your goals. If used correctly, the Heart Cockle will teach you how to focus your thoughts on what you want, rather than on what you don't want. A positive attitude will be the by-product. It is the belief that we were all born as creative beings and given the opportunity to create any world we choose, tying into the fact that we were all born with free will. We actually choose our reality.
An example can be seen using our country's current economic situation as a backdrop. Person"A" and Person "B" both get laid off from work. Person "A" believes, and therefore acts upon the notion, that there is no light at the end of the tunnel. Person "A" fears they will run out of money and not be able to pay their bills, becoming depressed and embarrassed about collecting unemployment. Unable to find the same job with the same salary, Person "A" consequently feels like a loser and becomes despondent and eventually ill.
Person "B" chooses to believe, and therefore act upon, the notion that events present themselves to us every day and it is our reaction to those events that will determine outcomes. That person uses their time on unemployment to retrain and acquire new skills that will enable them to be marketable in today's economy. They network with others to give rise to new vocations or businesses. This person feels empowered by changing with the times. This person visualizes wealth and expects it. Opportunities abound bringing success once again.
Ultimately, it's the choice of either making lemonade out of lemons, or choosing to be sour. We need to take life lessons from Bill Gates who during the recession of the 80's developed Microsoft, and Walt Disney who went bankrupt seven times before Disney World was completed. Our country may be currently in a recession, but make no mistake about it, there are millionaires being born every day as they manipulate their resources and visualize new industries and money making opportunities.
So, why are we here? We're here because we choose to be. What are we supposed to be doing? Anything we damn well please! Life is very simple if we learn to go with the flow and not take ourselves too seriously. We each stand looking at life from different perspectives and from those vantage points we decide what it is we want and what we don't want. Whatever we focus on we will attract and experience. Through those experiences we learn and our knowledge expands. Eventually we return to the Universe from whence we came bringing back with us our experiences for the next generation to enhance upon.
We have the strength to move mountains, we have the intelligence to learn and grow, and we have the power to adapt! That's what puts us on the top of the food chain. We can reason, strategize and create. C'mon people use your God-given birthright and create your future! You have the power, it's Universal Law. It always works and it will work for you. Learn how to use the Universal Law of Attraction to visualize the future you want, feel that it has already happened, experience your joy, and be thankful for all your blessings. You were born to succeed!
Check back next month when my blog will discuss FEAR, "False Evidence Appearing Real," the real cause for feeling "stuck" in your life.
Donna Dannenfelser, Ed.D
Monday, May 24, 2010
We have the strength to move mountains, we have the intelligence to learn and grow, and we have the power to adapt! That’s what puts us on top of the food chain. We can reason, strategize and create. C’mon people use your God-given birthright and create your future! You have the power, it is a Universal Law. It always works and it works for everyone. Learn how to use the Universal Law of Attraction to visualize the future you want, feel that it has already happened, experience your joy, and be thankful for all your blessings. You were born to succeed!