"Ya Gotta Read The Field!"

Ya Gotta Read The Field!

            Michelle, my daughter-in-law, or Grasshopper, as I often refer to her taken from the "Kung-Fu" TV series, possesses more untapped potential than anyone I have ever met. Wife to my eldest son Jason at the age of 22, mother to my grandson Colin at the age of 24 along with becoming a certified public accountant that same year, scoring 99, 93, 92 & 84 on the four part accounting exam. Also, being a homeowner at the age of 25 puts her in the category of achieving a lot more than most given her few short adult years on this planet.

            As I’m visiting with her at her home on Long Island, she sits with tissues in hand and tears streaming down her face as she painfully explains her feeling of being stuck in her life. Worried about money, the idea of a second child haunting her and her full time job that is boring her out of her mind, she just can’t seem to get out of her own way.

“I’m tired, I’m bored, I hate my job, there’s never enough money. I can’t leave my job, how will the bills get paid.” She cries.

            “Alas, my darling, you’re not reading the field,” I say.

            “What?” she whimpers.

“In football the best players are able to get in position and before making their decision of where to tear up the line they read the field. They’re looking for an opening, they’re anticipating the moves of the other players and how they can maneuver through the line of defense and get to the end zone. Similar to life when you have to learn to spot opportunities. Learn how to read the world around you and anticipate certain changes and how they will impact opportunities coming your way.”

            “But how do you do that?” she cries.

“You breathe. You focus on being happy. You begin. You get in position, and you look around at the other players. What are they doing? You study the ones that have succeeded and you ask how they did it. You can’t back up your bet and that’s what you want to do. You want someone to tell you that you’ll win and no one can tell you that. It’s like free falling. You have to be willing to take the chance and believe you won’t splatter on a rock. That your dive will enable you to enter the water without injury. Life is set up for you to succeed. You don’t even need a backup plan, as a matter of fact if you set up a backup plan that just might be what you end up with. But if you visualize your success and accept no other scenario the Universe will have to deliver your dream or go one step further, deliver an even better scenario, one that you would have never dreamed possible.”

            Life is the ultimate team sport. You are the gladiator given everything you need to be successful if you just believe. You want guarantees, there aren’t any. And if there were what would be the point to all this. These challenges separate the men from the boys, or in this case the women from the girls.

            And I know what you’re thinking Grasshopper, “But how….?” Stop over thinking everything. Stop planning every little move. Calm down, visualize what you want in as much detail as possible and don’t ask how it’s going to happen. The “how’s” to this are none of your business. Does the field kicker ask about aerodynamics before he kicks the football through the uprights? No he doesn’t, he just focuses, kicks and voila through the goal posts it goes. He really doesn’t know how it happens he just knows that it does. And for those times when it doesn’t he will admit, he was distracted.

There is something greater than ourselves working for you out there. It is the intangibles, your gut feelings, those serendipitous moments, the power we were all born with to create. Your son knows it, why do you think babies are so happy? They look at us and think, WTF, have they all forgotten the power of thought?? Oh god I hope that doesn’t happen to me. There is power in the word “NO” but there is greater power in the word, “YES”.

If you want to be a worker bee and work behind a desk for 10 hours a day then so be it. There’s nothing wrong with that. But what I’m hearing is that you can’t stand it, you’re angry, you’re depressed, and you don’t love your life. Well, Grasshopper there is only one person to blame for that and it is you. So get away from your work desk and do what you have to do to move the energy toward your dreams. Knowing there are no guarantees except for the ones you put in place and that guarantee is that you don’t stop pushing toward the end zone until you have that football in hand and know that you are going to score…..a TOUCH DOWN!!

Happy New Year!

I guess your wondering where I've been? The month of November and December were spent in Atlanta, Georgia filming "Necessary Roughness," the USA TV pilot based on my life. And now that I'm back I'd like to share with you what I've learned.

It took seven years to get this far. Seven years filled with obstacles, nay slayers, and bedtime prayers, loss of money, family stress, relocation, and disappointment. But the more harrowing the challenge, the more focused and determined I became. Did I want to give up? Absolutely, but there was always someone who told me to keep going, a book that fell off a shelf that reminded me about visualization and patience, and the fighter within me who just wouldn't give up. To be more specific here are my top ten lessons learned:

1. Never let anyone tell you that you can't do something.
2. Don't be ordinary, it's way too boring.
3. Dreams do come true if you believe.
4. Focus on what you want, not what you don't want.
5. Don't forget to breath.
6. Be patient, knowing that everything happens for a reason
7. You are never too old to accomplish anything.
8. You need people, pick the ones who believe in you.
9. Find the love in everyone you meet.
10. Be grateful for where you are in life because you are exactly where you need to be.

As it turned out, "Necessary Roughness" wasn't only a great name for our show, it was the best term to describe my life and for many of you I'm sure it can describe yours. Hang in there and hold on tight because the ride of life sure can get bumpy. I think the biggest lesson I learned was that when you arrive at your destination...it still won't seem like your done and that's because you're not. There will always be something more you want...something bigger, something better. And that my friend is called the "human condition." It's what keeps our species going. It's what we call progress, growth, evolution. We are here on this earth to learn and grow, and no matter how much we learn or how much we achieve we just can't stop wanting more. Each generation provides for the next as they take us to the leading edge of existence where we temper our humanity, strive for peace, and learn to love unconditionally. Our world is changing and the people in it are adapting. We must focus on the positive aspects of our humanity and in doing so attract more of it every day.

As we enter 2011, let it be your year to visualize the grandest of dreams with the knowledge that life is not supposed to hurt. Believe you were born to succeed and that we all have the power to achieve our goals. And then...pull out all the stops, take a chance, and live the life you've been dreaming about. You deserve it!

Happy New Year!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dr. Donna Dannenfelser

"How to Manifest Your Desires Quickly"

My experiences have proven to me over and over again that if I slowed myself down, focused on one thing at a time, and always remained positive, my thoughts would manifest in half the amount of time, and sometimes even as quickly as the next day. Many of us think we know what we want when in actuality we are constantly changing our minds and doubting that our dreams will ever come true. Manifestation will happen quickly if we first define, in detail, exactly what we want. We must not only visualize the end result of our desires but also feel what the manifestation will be like for us.

An example of this can be seen with Evelyn who was looking for that perfect partner. Evelyn's love life had always been less than perfect. She had gotten to the point where she was convinced that she would spend the rest of her days alone. She became very depressed. I convinced her that before she gave up hope she might want to try one more thing...the Law of Attraction. She agreed with its concept, read all my blogs and decided she had nothing to lose. She began by visualizing a tall, dark, and handsome guy. Low and behold, she met and started dating the exact man she had in mind: a tall, dark, and handsome man. The only problem was that he wound up spending more time in the mirror than she did, so she changed her visual to a nice guy with a great personality. She got the nice guy with the great personality, but he hadn't had a job in two years and Evelyn wound up paying for all their dates. Then she visualized the guy that could support himself as well as pay for at least half the dates. She met him as well, but found him boring. Then she decided to make a list of all the qualities she wanted in a mate, but that wound up being pages long as she stressed about leaving out important personality characteristics. That was two and a half years ago and today Evelyn is still looking for that special man. Evelyn was missing one important aspect of the Law of Attraction...she forgot to work on herself first. She needed to possess all the qualities she wanted to find in her partner...like attracts like.

If it's a life partner you're looking for most of us would agree we need to focus on a mate that completes us...the person that makes us smile, understands our moods, and empowers us to be the best we can be. We will find that person when we can say that we are ready to be that person ourselves. In other words, we find love when we are ready to give love.

We find that perfect job when we are ready to perform in that perfect job. We find that perfect friend when we are ready to be that perfect friend for someone else. When we become what we are looking for we will attract that which we desire. Like attracts like!

It is important to remember that we need to focus on one thing at a time. That's why it's so important to define what we want in as much detail as possible. Next, we need to feel what it would be like receiving our hearts' desires and allow the universe time to work its magic. The universe needs time to work our physical environment in such a way that our thoughts will manifest into our physical experience. People need to be put into place and chance happenings need to have time to occur. Most importantly, we cannot let doubt or fear enter out thoughts. Many of us aren't patient enough and begin to doubt the power of the universe in making things happen. The universe doesn't judge our thoughts it only replicates them. So if you say, "It's taking too long, it will never happen." The universe says, "Oh, cancel that plan, the thought is that it will never happen so we can't make it happen." Then you get some hope and you think,"I need to think positive, it will happen." The universe says, "Oh, let's get back on track." Then someone tells you your vision is nonsense and you agree, the universe reverses itself again, and so on and so forth, without any forward movement. Your vacillating thoughts are what slows down the whole process.

Simply put, the reason there are things you want that have not yet appeared in your life, is because you're just not used to thinking of yourself with them. You must visualize yourself being worthy of receiving them and how exciting it will be when you do receive them. It's about feeling "passion" for the life you want to live. Being passionate about something is loving the thought of it, imagining it in its full existence, daydreaming about it, smiling at the thought of one day living it and believing that it's just around the corner, and in doing so getting ready to experience it. I used to often say to my students at the University, "Dress for the job you want, not the job you have." I was teaching them how to intentionally program their future. Why is it that there are people who no matter what they touch they can make it turn to gold? Because by the time they actually touch it they had thought about the success of it over and over again in their minds, never doubted their success, and by the time it manifested they were already on to their next adventure.

There was a story about a man who was caught in a hurricane. The water table was rising higher and higher by the minute. A police car came by and instructed the man to get into the car as he would be brought to safety. The man refused saying that God would save him by stopping the rain. The policeman left. The man then decided to go to his rooftop and wait out the storm. Soon the streets filled with water and became rivers. A police boat came by and told the man to get into the boat. The man refused saying, "God will save me, soon he will stop the rain." The police boat left, the water continued to rise. A helicopter came by and the pilot tried to encourage the man to get into the helicopter. The man said, "God will save me, soon he will stop the rain." The helicopter left. The water rose higher and higher until it covered the house and the man drowned. When the man got to heaven he asked God, "Why didn't you save me?" God said, "I sent you a police car, a boat and a helicopter, why didn't you use them?"

Many times our desires manifest in ways we least expect, we must be open to all possibilities. The Law of Attraction works all the time, for all of us, don't miss it!

Meditation is one of the best ways to have your desires manifest quickly. Learn how to meditate the easy way by going to heartcockles.com and order a "Custom Heart Cockle," write "meditation scroll" in the "custom cockle instruction box." Experience how quickly you can change your life when you begin to change your thoughts!

Donna Dannenfelser, Ed.D