Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Dr. Donna's "Five Steps to Success"

There have been thousands of books written about the steps to success and even more written about successful people. We love to hear how millionaires made their money and we marvel at rags to riches stories, often times wishing it could be us. Success can be defined as many different things, not always money. It could be that perfect career, or that perfect relationship, or even that perfect home, car, or vacation. Success comes in all shapes and sizes depending on our needs and desires. So why do so many people feel unsuccessful? It's because they have given up on their dreams. When the going got tough, they dropped out, they lost hope, they quit.

Success is about staying focused and believing that you were born to succeed. Your job is to visualize your perfect life, put it out into the Universe and watch how chance meetings present themselves; how circumstances seem to happen that move you closer to your goal. Synchronicity becomes a way of life and you begin to understand how timing is everything. Often, it's those disappointing events that actually are the key experiences needed to get you on the right path to achieving the life of your dreams.

A while ago I went to get my car fixed and had to wait an hour. I went to a cafe' around the corner, sat at the bar and ordered a sandwich. A young guy came in and sat next to me, he was in his mid-twenties, had a tattoo on his arm that read, "Huckleberry". He looked at me, took some heavy deep breaths, ordered his lunch, and then looked at me again. Our eyes connected for a moment and he told me he hated his job. In that moment I actually felt his soul dying. For such a young person to hate what he did every day of his life struck me so deeply. No one should have to hate what they do for a living. The problem is that they don't know how to get what they want. And that's because they haven't been taught how. You get what you want by following five simple steps:

1. Identify what you want out of life. Define it in as much detail as possible and see the
end result in your mind's eye.
2. Visualize how you will look when your dream comes true, what the end result will look
like. Most importantly, feel what it will be like when you accomplish your goal.
3. Do something every day that moves the energy toward your goal.
4. Every day keep your energy high by feeling good and you will become an attracting
magnet, attracting just the right people that will help you achieve your goal.
5. Be grateful for the things you have today and believe you are deserving of all life's riches.

We're only here for a short while and one day we will die, so the question is...what do you want to do until that day? Visualize it, believe it will happen, and it will manifest!

During the time I was pitching my TV show, I visualized signing the contract for the show every time I signed my name. I did this for two years straight. I never missed an opportunity to visualize the signing of that contract. Whether it was signing my name on a check, charge card, birthday card, whatever, whenever I signed my name, I visualized signing that contract. The day I actually signed the SONY contract was surreal because I had already done it over and over again in my mind.

Many people tell me they have trouble staying the course of their dreams. Their negative self-talk gets in the way and they begin to doubt that their dreams will ever come true. They say that negative emotions take over and they convince themselves that they will never succeed. Our emotions are not our enemy. They actually serve us well. Our emotions are our built-in navigation system. First we have thoughts and then we have feelings. Our emotions actually tell us what we're thinking and whether or not we're going in the right direction . Our negative emotions tell us we have gone off track. If I'm feeling sad, the first thing I do is monitor my thoughts. What am I telling myself? And 100% of the time I'm thinking about something that saddens me. If I'm feeling anxious, I stop and think about what I'm telling myself and for sure I'm thinking about events that might happen in my life that would cause me to have a negative experience. Mind you, those events haven't happened yet, but had I kept thinking those thoughts the negative events would eventually manifest. If you're feeling anything other than comfortable, your emotions are trying to get you to change your thoughts. You attract what you think about whether you want it or not. You need to remember that the most important conversation you will ever have is the conversation you have with yourself!

Once we get a handle on our thoughts we can change them, and once we change our thoughts we change our lives. Once we change our lives we begin to smile, and once we smile we become happy. Once we become happy we attract all that makes us happy!

So take those "Five Steps to Success" and do them every morning before you get out of bed; that will focus your day. Do those again at night, as you are going off to sleep and the repetition of your desires will take a firm hold in your subconscious. Your subconscious is responsible for 96% of your decisions made every day. If your desires are firmly embedded in your subconscious you're decisions will always move you toward your goals.

Believe you are in charge of your destiny and never take your eye off the prize. You were born to succeed!

Next month's blog: "Why does it take so long for our desires to manifest?"

Donna Dannenfelser, Ed.D

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