If I received a dollar every time a client told me that they married one of their parents, I would be a very rich woman. The truth of the matter is that we do marry one of our primary caretakers. Sorry, it’s the truth and this is why…
Did you ever meet someone for the first time and feel like you've known them your whole life? You are thrilled, and your first thought is that you’ve known them from a past life, or something. Well, it’s the something I want to address. We're attracted to our partners because they are familiar to us. They actually have qualities of one our primary caretakers whom we have the most issues with. And it will be through this relationship that we work out those issues in adulthood. Most often we set up very similar home lives to the ones we've experienced in childhood. I've always said that we spend most of our adulthood trying to get over our childhood and this is one of the ways we do it.
Question: What happens when we work out those issues with our partner and we are no longer blocked by them?
Answer: Often times those relationships come to an end. I know…this was as difficult for me to accept as I'm sure it is for you right now. The truth of the matter is that every relationship we engage in, we learn from, and these lessons add to our lives, helping us to grow into the people we were meant to be. If both partners grow, then the chances of them staying together increases.
Question: Do we ever find that one person who we don’t have to work out issues with?
Answer: Yes, only after we have worked out the issues that stand in the way of us developing into the amazing people we were meant to be.
Dr Donna XO
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