Yes it is! Because…when we break up with our significant other we focus on what we don’t want, not what we want. We focus on the pain, how we were mistreated, lied to, cheated on, etc.
What we need to do is focus on what we want. Focus our thoughts on having a partner who will complete us, compliment our strengths, share in our successes, and be patient with our weaknesses.
Instead of shedding tears over our loss, let's change that negative energy into positive energy by visualizing a happy, fulfilling, empowering relationship that provides us the latitude we need to grow into the people we were meant to be.
If your heart’s been broken, heal yourself by discovering the lessons learned in that relationship. What did that partner teach you about yourself? This is where you will learn and grow and bring that new knowledge into your next relationship making it healthier and happier.
We all know that the pain of a break up usually surfaces when we are alone, so the next time the tears start rolling take three deep breaths, close your eyes and allow your mind to take you to a future time when you are happy in love. Don’t visualize what you think will be that perfect partner, visualize yourself being happy, safe, and in love. Then allow those thoughts to go out into the Universe with the knowledge that you have been heard and love is on its way back to you!
Dr. Donna xo
Visit us on twitter @TheDr_Donna
Showing posts with label life lessons. Show all posts
Showing posts with label life lessons. Show all posts
Sunday, April 1, 2012
Sunday, March 25, 2012
I MARRIED MY MOTHER! I MARRIED MY FATHER!
If I received a dollar every time a client told me that they married one of their parents, I would be a very rich woman. The truth of the matter is that we do marry one of our primary caretakers. Sorry, it’s the truth and this is why…
Did you ever meet someone for the first time and feel like you've known them your whole life? You are thrilled, and your first thought is that you’ve known them from a past life, or something. Well, it’s the something I want to address. We're attracted to our partners because they are familiar to us. They actually have qualities of one our primary caretakers whom we have the most issues with. And it will be through this relationship that we work out those issues in adulthood. Most often we set up very similar home lives to the ones we've experienced in childhood. I've always said that we spend most of our adulthood trying to get over our childhood and this is one of the ways we do it.
Question: What happens when we work out those issues with our partner and we are no longer blocked by them?
Answer: Often times those relationships come to an end. I know…this was as difficult for me to accept as I'm sure it is for you right now. The truth of the matter is that every relationship we engage in, we learn from, and these lessons add to our lives, helping us to grow into the people we were meant to be. If both partners grow, then the chances of them staying together increases.
Question: Do we ever find that one person who we don’t have to work out issues with?
Answer: Yes, only after we have worked out the issues that stand in the way of us developing into the amazing people we were meant to be.
Dr Donna XO
Visit us on Twitter @TheDr_Donna
Did you ever meet someone for the first time and feel like you've known them your whole life? You are thrilled, and your first thought is that you’ve known them from a past life, or something. Well, it’s the something I want to address. We're attracted to our partners because they are familiar to us. They actually have qualities of one our primary caretakers whom we have the most issues with. And it will be through this relationship that we work out those issues in adulthood. Most often we set up very similar home lives to the ones we've experienced in childhood. I've always said that we spend most of our adulthood trying to get over our childhood and this is one of the ways we do it.
Question: What happens when we work out those issues with our partner and we are no longer blocked by them?
Answer: Often times those relationships come to an end. I know…this was as difficult for me to accept as I'm sure it is for you right now. The truth of the matter is that every relationship we engage in, we learn from, and these lessons add to our lives, helping us to grow into the people we were meant to be. If both partners grow, then the chances of them staying together increases.
Question: Do we ever find that one person who we don’t have to work out issues with?
Answer: Yes, only after we have worked out the issues that stand in the way of us developing into the amazing people we were meant to be.
Dr Donna XO
Visit us on Twitter @TheDr_Donna
Friday, January 7, 2011
Happy New Year!
I guess your wondering where I've been? The month of November and December were spent in Atlanta, Georgia filming "Necessary Roughness," the USA TV pilot based on my life. And now that I'm back I'd like to share with you what I've learned.
It took seven years to get this far. Seven years filled with obstacles, nay slayers, and bedtime prayers, loss of money, family stress, relocation, and disappointment. But the more harrowing the challenge, the more focused and determined I became. Did I want to give up? Absolutely, but there was always someone who told me to keep going, a book that fell off a shelf that reminded me about visualization and patience, and the fighter within me who just wouldn't give up. To be more specific here are my top ten lessons learned:
1. Never let anyone tell you that you can't do something.
2. Don't be ordinary, it's way too boring.
3. Dreams do come true if you believe.
4. Focus on what you want, not what you don't want.
5. Don't forget to breath.
6. Be patient, knowing that everything happens for a reason
7. You are never too old to accomplish anything.
8. You need people, pick the ones who believe in you.
9. Find the love in everyone you meet.
10. Be grateful for where you are in life because you are exactly where you need to be.
As it turned out, "Necessary Roughness" wasn't only a great name for our show, it was the best term to describe my life and for many of you I'm sure it can describe yours. Hang in there and hold on tight because the ride of life sure can get bumpy. I think the biggest lesson I learned was that when you arrive at your destination...it still won't seem like your done and that's because you're not. There will always be something more you want...something bigger, something better. And that my friend is called the "human condition." It's what keeps our species going. It's what we call progress, growth, evolution. We are here on this earth to learn and grow, and no matter how much we learn or how much we achieve we just can't stop wanting more. Each generation provides for the next as they take us to the leading edge of existence where we temper our humanity, strive for peace, and learn to love unconditionally. Our world is changing and the people in it are adapting. We must focus on the positive aspects of our humanity and in doing so attract more of it every day.
As we enter 2011, let it be your year to visualize the grandest of dreams with the knowledge that life is not supposed to hurt. Believe you were born to succeed and that we all have the power to achieve our goals. And then...pull out all the stops, take a chance, and live the life you've been dreaming about. You deserve it!
Happy New Year!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Dr. Donna Dannenfelser
It took seven years to get this far. Seven years filled with obstacles, nay slayers, and bedtime prayers, loss of money, family stress, relocation, and disappointment. But the more harrowing the challenge, the more focused and determined I became. Did I want to give up? Absolutely, but there was always someone who told me to keep going, a book that fell off a shelf that reminded me about visualization and patience, and the fighter within me who just wouldn't give up. To be more specific here are my top ten lessons learned:
1. Never let anyone tell you that you can't do something.
2. Don't be ordinary, it's way too boring.
3. Dreams do come true if you believe.
4. Focus on what you want, not what you don't want.
5. Don't forget to breath.
6. Be patient, knowing that everything happens for a reason
7. You are never too old to accomplish anything.
8. You need people, pick the ones who believe in you.
9. Find the love in everyone you meet.
10. Be grateful for where you are in life because you are exactly where you need to be.
As it turned out, "Necessary Roughness" wasn't only a great name for our show, it was the best term to describe my life and for many of you I'm sure it can describe yours. Hang in there and hold on tight because the ride of life sure can get bumpy. I think the biggest lesson I learned was that when you arrive at your destination...it still won't seem like your done and that's because you're not. There will always be something more you want...something bigger, something better. And that my friend is called the "human condition." It's what keeps our species going. It's what we call progress, growth, evolution. We are here on this earth to learn and grow, and no matter how much we learn or how much we achieve we just can't stop wanting more. Each generation provides for the next as they take us to the leading edge of existence where we temper our humanity, strive for peace, and learn to love unconditionally. Our world is changing and the people in it are adapting. We must focus on the positive aspects of our humanity and in doing so attract more of it every day.
As we enter 2011, let it be your year to visualize the grandest of dreams with the knowledge that life is not supposed to hurt. Believe you were born to succeed and that we all have the power to achieve our goals. And then...pull out all the stops, take a chance, and live the life you've been dreaming about. You deserve it!
Happy New Year!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Dr. Donna Dannenfelser
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