Yes it is! Because…when we break up with our significant other we focus on what we don’t want, not what we want. We focus on the pain, how we were mistreated, lied to, cheated on, etc.
What we need to do is focus on what we want. Focus our thoughts on having a partner who will complete us, compliment our strengths, share in our successes, and be patient with our weaknesses.
Instead of shedding tears over our loss, let's change that negative energy into positive energy by visualizing a happy, fulfilling, empowering relationship that provides us the latitude we need to grow into the people we were meant to be.
If your heart’s been broken, heal yourself by discovering the lessons learned in that relationship. What did that partner teach you about yourself? This is where you will learn and grow and bring that new knowledge into your next relationship making it healthier and happier.
We all know that the pain of a break up usually surfaces when we are alone, so the next time the tears start rolling take three deep breaths, close your eyes and allow your mind to take you to a future time when you are happy in love. Don’t visualize what you think will be that perfect partner, visualize yourself being happy, safe, and in love. Then allow those thoughts to go out into the Universe with the knowledge that you have been heard and love is on its way back to you!
Dr. Donna xo
Visit us on twitter @TheDr_Donna
Showing posts with label love. Show all posts
Showing posts with label love. Show all posts
Sunday, April 1, 2012
Sunday, March 25, 2012
I MARRIED MY MOTHER! I MARRIED MY FATHER!
If I received a dollar every time a client told me that they married one of their parents, I would be a very rich woman. The truth of the matter is that we do marry one of our primary caretakers. Sorry, it’s the truth and this is why…
Did you ever meet someone for the first time and feel like you've known them your whole life? You are thrilled, and your first thought is that you’ve known them from a past life, or something. Well, it’s the something I want to address. We're attracted to our partners because they are familiar to us. They actually have qualities of one our primary caretakers whom we have the most issues with. And it will be through this relationship that we work out those issues in adulthood. Most often we set up very similar home lives to the ones we've experienced in childhood. I've always said that we spend most of our adulthood trying to get over our childhood and this is one of the ways we do it.
Question: What happens when we work out those issues with our partner and we are no longer blocked by them?
Answer: Often times those relationships come to an end. I know…this was as difficult for me to accept as I'm sure it is for you right now. The truth of the matter is that every relationship we engage in, we learn from, and these lessons add to our lives, helping us to grow into the people we were meant to be. If both partners grow, then the chances of them staying together increases.
Question: Do we ever find that one person who we don’t have to work out issues with?
Answer: Yes, only after we have worked out the issues that stand in the way of us developing into the amazing people we were meant to be.
Dr Donna XO
Visit us on Twitter @TheDr_Donna
Did you ever meet someone for the first time and feel like you've known them your whole life? You are thrilled, and your first thought is that you’ve known them from a past life, or something. Well, it’s the something I want to address. We're attracted to our partners because they are familiar to us. They actually have qualities of one our primary caretakers whom we have the most issues with. And it will be through this relationship that we work out those issues in adulthood. Most often we set up very similar home lives to the ones we've experienced in childhood. I've always said that we spend most of our adulthood trying to get over our childhood and this is one of the ways we do it.
Question: What happens when we work out those issues with our partner and we are no longer blocked by them?
Answer: Often times those relationships come to an end. I know…this was as difficult for me to accept as I'm sure it is for you right now. The truth of the matter is that every relationship we engage in, we learn from, and these lessons add to our lives, helping us to grow into the people we were meant to be. If both partners grow, then the chances of them staying together increases.
Question: Do we ever find that one person who we don’t have to work out issues with?
Answer: Yes, only after we have worked out the issues that stand in the way of us developing into the amazing people we were meant to be.
Dr Donna XO
Visit us on Twitter @TheDr_Donna
Sunday, March 18, 2012
HE LOVES ME, HE LOVES ME NOT
People talk about falling in and out of love all the time. The question is…do we really “fall” in and out of love, or is there more to it?
Let’s look at our behavior when we are “in love.” We are respectful, patient, kind, interested and helpful. We are happy, fun, adventurous, and open to many of our partner’s interests and curious of their feelings about a whole bunch of stuff.
Now let’s look at our behavior when we are “out of love.” We don’t seem to have patience for our partner and because of that we become disrespectful, uninterested, and not there often enough to be helpful. We become bored, the laughing seems to stop and we are not that interested in what our partner has to say. We start to ignore their feelings, focusing on our own, which often times turns into resentment.
Rather than the idea of falling in and out of love, I think what we fall in and out of is respect, kindness and patience.
Now, to blow your mind a little bit. When we fall in love we are actually falling in love with a reflection of ourselves that we see in our partners. So the next time you fall out of love take a look in the mirror and see if the bottom line here is that you have just fallen out of love with a part of yourself.
Dr Donna XO
Visit us on Twitter @TheDr_Donna
Let’s look at our behavior when we are “in love.” We are respectful, patient, kind, interested and helpful. We are happy, fun, adventurous, and open to many of our partner’s interests and curious of their feelings about a whole bunch of stuff.
Now let’s look at our behavior when we are “out of love.” We don’t seem to have patience for our partner and because of that we become disrespectful, uninterested, and not there often enough to be helpful. We become bored, the laughing seems to stop and we are not that interested in what our partner has to say. We start to ignore their feelings, focusing on our own, which often times turns into resentment.
Rather than the idea of falling in and out of love, I think what we fall in and out of is respect, kindness and patience.
Now, to blow your mind a little bit. When we fall in love we are actually falling in love with a reflection of ourselves that we see in our partners. So the next time you fall out of love take a look in the mirror and see if the bottom line here is that you have just fallen out of love with a part of yourself.
Dr Donna XO
Visit us on Twitter @TheDr_Donna
Tuesday, March 13, 2012
BECOME AN ATTRACTING MAGNET!
Did you ever meet a person who you love being around? They make you feel good. It’s as if the only person they see for that moment is you. Those people are “attracting magnets.” People are drawn to them because of the positive energy they put out into the world. Whether in business, friendship, or love, you can become an attracting magnet as well. Follow these three easy steps:
First, love yourself! We all tend to look at our faults and try to improve them. I say, look at your strengths and love yourself for them. There are so many wonderful things about you, focus on them, celebrate them, let them shine through you to others and people will be drawn to you.
Second, at night before going to sleep, take three deep breaths, and on the third breath visualize yourself being in the perfect relationship. Whether it’s love, career, or friendship, we all want to be loved and respected for who we are, not what we do. Visualize your best scenario as if you already have it. Enjoy the visual in as much detail as possible. Then let it go out into the Universe and fall off to sleep knowing that it is on it’s way back to you. Be open to all that comes your way and say “YES” to life. Smile…it tells the world you are ready for greatness.
Third, the next morning wake up being grateful for the awesome day that’s ahead of you. Expect what you have visualized and it will manifest. That’s how the Law Of Attraction works. It works for all of us, if we open ourselves to it.
Soooo…get on it!
Dr. Donna xo
Check us out on Twitter @theDr_Donna
First, love yourself! We all tend to look at our faults and try to improve them. I say, look at your strengths and love yourself for them. There are so many wonderful things about you, focus on them, celebrate them, let them shine through you to others and people will be drawn to you.
Second, at night before going to sleep, take three deep breaths, and on the third breath visualize yourself being in the perfect relationship. Whether it’s love, career, or friendship, we all want to be loved and respected for who we are, not what we do. Visualize your best scenario as if you already have it. Enjoy the visual in as much detail as possible. Then let it go out into the Universe and fall off to sleep knowing that it is on it’s way back to you. Be open to all that comes your way and say “YES” to life. Smile…it tells the world you are ready for greatness.
Third, the next morning wake up being grateful for the awesome day that’s ahead of you. Expect what you have visualized and it will manifest. That’s how the Law Of Attraction works. It works for all of us, if we open ourselves to it.
Soooo…get on it!
Dr. Donna xo
Check us out on Twitter @theDr_Donna
Thursday, February 23, 2012
ACTING AS IF...
If you’ve been following me on Twitter recently you would have read about the big discussion regarding “acting as if” your dreams have already manifested. "Acting as if" may feel like you’re lying to yourself but try looking at it as preparing for your future.
Don’t dress for the job you have today, dress for the job you want tomorrow. You will be noticed by those in authority and your life will change. You are intentionally moving the energy toward your goal.
Do you want love in your life? Start by loving yourself. People are attracted by those who are lovable. Act as if you are in love. Be in love with life, the future that is on its way, the people you will be meeting who will introduce you to your perfect mate. Be the person you want to love and love will find you!
You want to be happy? Do just that, be happy! Be happy for where you are in life knowing that you need to be exactly where you are today in order to get to where you want to be tomorrow.
Breath, relax and smile…act as if...and it will happen!
Dr. Donna xo
Check us out on Twitter @theDr_Donna
Don’t dress for the job you have today, dress for the job you want tomorrow. You will be noticed by those in authority and your life will change. You are intentionally moving the energy toward your goal.
Do you want love in your life? Start by loving yourself. People are attracted by those who are lovable. Act as if you are in love. Be in love with life, the future that is on its way, the people you will be meeting who will introduce you to your perfect mate. Be the person you want to love and love will find you!
You want to be happy? Do just that, be happy! Be happy for where you are in life knowing that you need to be exactly where you are today in order to get to where you want to be tomorrow.
Breath, relax and smile…act as if...and it will happen!
Dr. Donna xo
Check us out on Twitter @theDr_Donna
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
"How to Manifest Your Desires Quickly"
My experiences have proven to me over and over again that if I slowed myself down, focused on one thing at a time, and always remained positive, my thoughts would manifest in half the amount of time, and sometimes even as quickly as the next day. Many of us think we know what we want when in actuality we are constantly changing our minds and doubting that our dreams will ever come true. Manifestation will happen quickly if we first define, in detail, exactly what we want. We must not only visualize the end result of our desires but also feel what the manifestation will be like for us.
An example of this can be seen with Evelyn who was looking for that perfect partner. Evelyn's love life had always been less than perfect. She had gotten to the point where she was convinced that she would spend the rest of her days alone. She became very depressed. I convinced her that before she gave up hope she might want to try one more thing...the Law of Attraction. She agreed with its concept, read all my blogs and decided she had nothing to lose. She began by visualizing a tall, dark, and handsome guy. Low and behold, she met and started dating the exact man she had in mind: a tall, dark, and handsome man. The only problem was that he wound up spending more time in the mirror than she did, so she changed her visual to a nice guy with a great personality. She got the nice guy with the great personality, but he hadn't had a job in two years and Evelyn wound up paying for all their dates. Then she visualized the guy that could support himself as well as pay for at least half the dates. She met him as well, but found him boring. Then she decided to make a list of all the qualities she wanted in a mate, but that wound up being pages long as she stressed about leaving out important personality characteristics. That was two and a half years ago and today Evelyn is still looking for that special man. Evelyn was missing one important aspect of the Law of Attraction...she forgot to work on herself first. She needed to possess all the qualities she wanted to find in her partner...like attracts like.
If it's a life partner you're looking for most of us would agree we need to focus on a mate that completes us...the person that makes us smile, understands our moods, and empowers us to be the best we can be. We will find that person when we can say that we are ready to be that person ourselves. In other words, we find love when we are ready to give love.
We find that perfect job when we are ready to perform in that perfect job. We find that perfect friend when we are ready to be that perfect friend for someone else. When we become what we are looking for we will attract that which we desire. Like attracts like!
It is important to remember that we need to focus on one thing at a time. That's why it's so important to define what we want in as much detail as possible. Next, we need to feel what it would be like receiving our hearts' desires and allow the universe time to work its magic. The universe needs time to work our physical environment in such a way that our thoughts will manifest into our physical experience. People need to be put into place and chance happenings need to have time to occur. Most importantly, we cannot let doubt or fear enter out thoughts. Many of us aren't patient enough and begin to doubt the power of the universe in making things happen. The universe doesn't judge our thoughts it only replicates them. So if you say, "It's taking too long, it will never happen." The universe says, "Oh, cancel that plan, the thought is that it will never happen so we can't make it happen." Then you get some hope and you think,"I need to think positive, it will happen." The universe says, "Oh, let's get back on track." Then someone tells you your vision is nonsense and you agree, the universe reverses itself again, and so on and so forth, without any forward movement. Your vacillating thoughts are what slows down the whole process.
Simply put, the reason there are things you want that have not yet appeared in your life, is because you're just not used to thinking of yourself with them. You must visualize yourself being worthy of receiving them and how exciting it will be when you do receive them. It's about feeling "passion" for the life you want to live. Being passionate about something is loving the thought of it, imagining it in its full existence, daydreaming about it, smiling at the thought of one day living it and believing that it's just around the corner, and in doing so getting ready to experience it. I used to often say to my students at the University, "Dress for the job you want, not the job you have." I was teaching them how to intentionally program their future. Why is it that there are people who no matter what they touch they can make it turn to gold? Because by the time they actually touch it they had thought about the success of it over and over again in their minds, never doubted their success, and by the time it manifested they were already on to their next adventure.
There was a story about a man who was caught in a hurricane. The water table was rising higher and higher by the minute. A police car came by and instructed the man to get into the car as he would be brought to safety. The man refused saying that God would save him by stopping the rain. The policeman left. The man then decided to go to his rooftop and wait out the storm. Soon the streets filled with water and became rivers. A police boat came by and told the man to get into the boat. The man refused saying, "God will save me, soon he will stop the rain." The police boat left, the water continued to rise. A helicopter came by and the pilot tried to encourage the man to get into the helicopter. The man said, "God will save me, soon he will stop the rain." The helicopter left. The water rose higher and higher until it covered the house and the man drowned. When the man got to heaven he asked God, "Why didn't you save me?" God said, "I sent you a police car, a boat and a helicopter, why didn't you use them?"
Many times our desires manifest in ways we least expect, we must be open to all possibilities. The Law of Attraction works all the time, for all of us, don't miss it!
Meditation is one of the best ways to have your desires manifest quickly. Learn how to meditate the easy way by going to heartcockles.com and order a "Custom Heart Cockle," write "meditation scroll" in the "custom cockle instruction box." Experience how quickly you can change your life when you begin to change your thoughts!
Donna Dannenfelser, Ed.D
An example of this can be seen with Evelyn who was looking for that perfect partner. Evelyn's love life had always been less than perfect. She had gotten to the point where she was convinced that she would spend the rest of her days alone. She became very depressed. I convinced her that before she gave up hope she might want to try one more thing...the Law of Attraction. She agreed with its concept, read all my blogs and decided she had nothing to lose. She began by visualizing a tall, dark, and handsome guy. Low and behold, she met and started dating the exact man she had in mind: a tall, dark, and handsome man. The only problem was that he wound up spending more time in the mirror than she did, so she changed her visual to a nice guy with a great personality. She got the nice guy with the great personality, but he hadn't had a job in two years and Evelyn wound up paying for all their dates. Then she visualized the guy that could support himself as well as pay for at least half the dates. She met him as well, but found him boring. Then she decided to make a list of all the qualities she wanted in a mate, but that wound up being pages long as she stressed about leaving out important personality characteristics. That was two and a half years ago and today Evelyn is still looking for that special man. Evelyn was missing one important aspect of the Law of Attraction...she forgot to work on herself first. She needed to possess all the qualities she wanted to find in her partner...like attracts like.
If it's a life partner you're looking for most of us would agree we need to focus on a mate that completes us...the person that makes us smile, understands our moods, and empowers us to be the best we can be. We will find that person when we can say that we are ready to be that person ourselves. In other words, we find love when we are ready to give love.
We find that perfect job when we are ready to perform in that perfect job. We find that perfect friend when we are ready to be that perfect friend for someone else. When we become what we are looking for we will attract that which we desire. Like attracts like!
It is important to remember that we need to focus on one thing at a time. That's why it's so important to define what we want in as much detail as possible. Next, we need to feel what it would be like receiving our hearts' desires and allow the universe time to work its magic. The universe needs time to work our physical environment in such a way that our thoughts will manifest into our physical experience. People need to be put into place and chance happenings need to have time to occur. Most importantly, we cannot let doubt or fear enter out thoughts. Many of us aren't patient enough and begin to doubt the power of the universe in making things happen. The universe doesn't judge our thoughts it only replicates them. So if you say, "It's taking too long, it will never happen." The universe says, "Oh, cancel that plan, the thought is that it will never happen so we can't make it happen." Then you get some hope and you think,"I need to think positive, it will happen." The universe says, "Oh, let's get back on track." Then someone tells you your vision is nonsense and you agree, the universe reverses itself again, and so on and so forth, without any forward movement. Your vacillating thoughts are what slows down the whole process.
Simply put, the reason there are things you want that have not yet appeared in your life, is because you're just not used to thinking of yourself with them. You must visualize yourself being worthy of receiving them and how exciting it will be when you do receive them. It's about feeling "passion" for the life you want to live. Being passionate about something is loving the thought of it, imagining it in its full existence, daydreaming about it, smiling at the thought of one day living it and believing that it's just around the corner, and in doing so getting ready to experience it. I used to often say to my students at the University, "Dress for the job you want, not the job you have." I was teaching them how to intentionally program their future. Why is it that there are people who no matter what they touch they can make it turn to gold? Because by the time they actually touch it they had thought about the success of it over and over again in their minds, never doubted their success, and by the time it manifested they were already on to their next adventure.
There was a story about a man who was caught in a hurricane. The water table was rising higher and higher by the minute. A police car came by and instructed the man to get into the car as he would be brought to safety. The man refused saying that God would save him by stopping the rain. The policeman left. The man then decided to go to his rooftop and wait out the storm. Soon the streets filled with water and became rivers. A police boat came by and told the man to get into the boat. The man refused saying, "God will save me, soon he will stop the rain." The police boat left, the water continued to rise. A helicopter came by and the pilot tried to encourage the man to get into the helicopter. The man said, "God will save me, soon he will stop the rain." The helicopter left. The water rose higher and higher until it covered the house and the man drowned. When the man got to heaven he asked God, "Why didn't you save me?" God said, "I sent you a police car, a boat and a helicopter, why didn't you use them?"
Many times our desires manifest in ways we least expect, we must be open to all possibilities. The Law of Attraction works all the time, for all of us, don't miss it!
Meditation is one of the best ways to have your desires manifest quickly. Learn how to meditate the easy way by going to heartcockles.com and order a "Custom Heart Cockle," write "meditation scroll" in the "custom cockle instruction box." Experience how quickly you can change your life when you begin to change your thoughts!
Donna Dannenfelser, Ed.D
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